


the end (of our universe)

by aprilcotdream



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Astronauts, Bittersweet, End of the World, M/M, Outer Space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28835862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprilcotdream/pseuds/aprilcotdream
Summary: Now, in Seokmin's vision, Joshua seems like he's glowing. Bright eyes crinkling in happiness, lips slightly curved into a smile, slender neck, pretty hands. Perhaps, he thinks, that Joshua is the sun all along. A kind, gentle sun that gives off so much warmth, a sun that never burns. And yet, Seokmin is just a piece of a dying star that keeps dancing in his orbit for evermore.or: Seokmin and Joshua are going on a field trip. Except, this time, they're not coming back.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	the end (of our universe)

**Author's Note:**

> Then, in the upper sky, indifferent to our
> 
> Sulphurous nether hell, I saw
> 
> The dead of the bombed graveyard, a calm tide
> 
> Under the foam of stars above the town.
> 
> \- Stephen Spender

[ _**PLAYLIST** _ ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5iHeG2iDLtItwyr2lfOb1b)

The year is 3014. The loneliest spacecraft in the entire universe, SVT-171830 is drifting in air somewhere. There are only two people on that block of metal: Joshua Hong and Lee Seokmin.

Joshua Hong, 26 years old. Likes to make bracelets in his freetime. Watches old 2000s anime on his almost broken laptop.

Lee Seokmin, 24 years old. Likes to bake pepperoni pizza in his free times. Reads romance novels on his almost broken phone.

So young, so ordinary, yet, they are survivors.

They are the two very fortunate astronauts that fleed the Earth just a few days before its explosion. This is their 830th day in space, with only three days worth of fuel left. And Seokmin knows they can't come back.

Together, they have been wandering aimlessly around for more than two years, from Mercury to Pluto, from supernovas to black holes. And together, they have been writing down knowledges that humanity never expects, and will die with them when this spacecraft sink in the abyss.

The explosion happened on their 6th day in space. After Joshua's 7th attempts on contacting International Space Center, the message came.

_"This is the International Space Center. The Earth is going to explode in 8 minutes. Thank you for your service, and may God be with you."_

A beep, then static silence.

As Seokmin held a weeping Joshua in his arms, his own tears rolling down his cheeks, he couldn't help but think that silence was scarier than any kind of word. Silence that erased the Earth, silence that erased their friends and families and what they used to be, silence that made them to be the only survivors left.

They cried and bawled and sobbed for days. Survivor's guilt, some said, and Seokmin thought it was a little unfair, that everything they knew was taken from them, and they weren't even there to witness. But they were indeed survivors, and like how the final message eased into silence, the pain inside them faded, too, into a dull ache. They were survivors, after all, and so Seokmin and Joshua decided to go on a quest.

_"Just a little road trip,"_

Joshua had smiled, jarringly happy,

_"But ending with us, going in a black hole, when the fuel runs out."_

The spaceship is comfortable enough, Seokmin thinks.

It's been floating and flying for more than two years now, running on all that "scientific stuffs" Seokmin can never understand, and has gravity, much like real Earth. And Seokmin is glad he doesn't have to wear those chunky astronaut suits in the 2000s sci-fi movies he and Joshua often watch together.

But sometimes the homesickness and survivors' guilt catch up to him, and it gets overwhelmingly _lonely_ up here, even though he has Joshua, sweet, funny, smart Joshua as his companion. He's glad they were running out of fuel. Soon, really soon, they will fall into silence, too, much like Earth and their loved ones and all they used to have.

**_D-3_ **

Joshua likes to dye his hair. Red, blue, orange, yellow, pink, every shade of Seokmin's usual rainbow cereal. He likes to change the color constantly. Sometimes, in the morning, Seokmin wakes up to a peachy pink, no trace of Joshua's black hair from last night. Sometimes, he wonders why the older enjoys dying so much, but Joshua just smiles gently. He says the vibrant colors remind him of home, of the glorious chaos that was Earth. Nothing like the dull grey machines and pitch black sky here.

Seokmin doesn't like to dye his hair, except the few occasional brown shades. He never bleaches his hair, though, due to the irrational fear of going bald. But he's thousands and thousands of miles away from home, and there is no one to laugh at him anymore, except Joshua. So he calls Joshua, and asks him to bleach his hair.

"Wow, never expect you to like hair coloring. Just bleaching?" Joshua asks, wide-eyed, and Seokmin's heart clenches at the sight. He's so gonna miss this.

Seokmin thinks for a little while, then murmurs, "Yeah.". Joshua smiles, gently, and says,

"Let me go to the storage unit and take the stuff, then."

He tags along Joshua, and laughs when he sees the older scrunching up his nose, trying to pick the proper hair bleacher for him.

"I usually use this, but I don't think it'll fit your hair type, though." The end is looming over their head, so whether his hair is damaged or not is not a problem anymore. A smile slips on Seokmin's lips, bittersweet, and an answer slides out, too. "Just use it, hyung. I don't care."

There are boxes of hair bleach lining up on a shelf on their storage unit, and Seokmin is suddenly reminded of his first impression of Joshua: a young soon-to-be-astronaut with pretty eyes and a lovely smile, trying to bargain with the Spacecraft Managing leader to bring one more, just one more box with him on the ship. He had thought, back then, that Joshua, his companion, was a little annoying. Because there's no need to dye hair in space, and there's really no need to bring 10 boxes of old-school style hair bleach, when they had way more efficient technology.

Now, though, when he sits in the cramped shower of the spaceship, all the needed tools surrounding him, Joshua rambling about _the important of preparing your hair_ behind his back, he sunddenly is thankful for those. Their last trace of Earth.

"Your hair is so soft."

The fingers on Seokmin's scalp, gently inspecting it, are softer, way softer though. This scene feels strangely intimate, and Seokmin's insides twinge to think about what could have been. These cotton-soft hands divide his hair into parts, then clip them. So delicately it hurts.

Joshua stands up, eyes crinkling softly, and starts to mix the bleach.

The sky outside is still colored black, a forever abyss. It highlights Joshua's silhouette even more: peachy pink hair, old T-shirt, grey sweatpants. His usual outfit, but he looks different, somehow. Seokmin is sure he memorized the older's face features long, long ago, but now, in his vision, he looks softer.

Maybe it has to do with the flickering light casts pulsating shadows on both of them, lighting up a sweet honey hue in the brown of his eyes, accentuating the lines of his defined biceps. Joshua, in this setting, in this atmosphere, has an almost _tender_ aura, and if Seokmin closes his eyes and imagines hard enough, he can picture those eyes, those arms in the same bed with him back home, in anywhere but here.

It's ridiculous how Seokmin almost flinches when Joshua takes a strand of his hair in his hands and applies bleach on it. _It's just hair bleaching,_ he tries to reassure himself, but his vision are blurring, like a camera out of focus. He blames the chemicals in that old box of hair bleach.

Joshua leans downs again to apply bleach, smiling, and Seokmin realizes how close he is to Joshua. In this position, he can feel his breath on his nape, can see the curve of his mouth near his neck, and maybe, just maybe, if he raises his head a little higher, then perhaps their lips can touch.

But Seokmin doesn't do it. He just simply _can't._ It's a bit strange, really, because the world is ending, and yet he still doesn't have the courage to just say one pretty word, brush little kiss against that lovely smile, or graze one gentle caress against those pretty eyes.

Perhaps he is a coward, perhaps he is an idiot, but when Joshua turns around, eyes sparkling like exploding supernovas and tells Seokmin to _just loosen up,_ he thinks he has made the right decision. Because he doesn't want his last days to pass by in quiet awkwardness, in muted pain.

He stares at the mirror, silently watching how his hair is turning a platinum blond, slowly carving Joshua's silhouette into the back of his mind.

He's the late winter sun, Seokmin thinks. How he gently holds his hair, how his eyes always crinkle in happiness, how he always patiently explain everything for Seokmin - every action, everything of him just radiates a soft golden glow. And Seokmin likes things likes that.

Like Joshua.

And so hair bleaching isn't even that bad, he thinks.

Seokmin's scalp burns, but Joshua flashes a smile towards him and he thinks it was worth it. Because this is the closest to the sun he's ever been.

Joshua's hands keeps moving up and down steadily, and Seokmin feels his eyelids slowly dropping down. The land of dreams greets him, as Joshua softly whispers: "Just sleep."

Seokmin dreams of a small apartment.

Seokmin finds himself wandering aimlessly in that apartment. He looked at the steaming hot dishes on the dining table, looked at the shelf filled with yellowed books and pictures of bright smiles, looked at the cozy living room, looked at the two guitars placed side by side, just next to the sofa.

Everything around him was wrapped in a soft shade of gold, but he felt empty, so empty. Steps after steps, he keeps walking endlessly, like he's still searching for something very improtant.

It was not until he bumped into Joshua, heard his sweet chuckles, that he knew he was at home.

He wakes up with blonde hair and Joshua sleeping next to him. Under the dim sleeping light, Joshua seems to shine brighter than ever, and Seokmin just wants to have all of his tranquil glory to himself.

In this silence, he knows he can keep staring forever, knows he can engrave Joshua's soft eyes, kind smile, gentle hands in his mind. And he knows, that when their world ends, when their bodies are just speckles of stardust, that will be the only thing that live on.

Gently pulling the blanket back for Joshua, Seokmin silently steps down his bed. Outside, the sky is still pitch black.

**_D-2_ **

Two more days until the spaceship plunges itself into the abyss.

Two more days before everything left of Earth vanishes into nothingness, and Seokmin finds himself spending those last moments longing for Joshua.

He closes his eyes, recalling everthing he just sees: Small room. Metal floor. Joshua lying on the tattered sofa, headphones plugged in, eyebrows slightly furrowed, feet tapping on the floor, mouthing to unfamiliar English words.

Seokmin opens his eyes again, mind burning with blazing ache to memorize the lines of his knuckles, to kiss the corner of his lips, to be with him. That hunger controls him, controls every step that he makes, controls every question that slipped out of his mouth. And before he knows it, he's standing right next to Joshua, softly asking him:

"Would you like to dance with me?"

For a split moment, Joshua looked slightly thunderstruck, doe eyes sparkling in disbelief, but his smile is still gentle, so gentle when he takes out his headphones, looks up at Seokmin and replies:

"Of course."

They both don't know how to dance.

But when the music starts and the room is filled with mellow beats and poetic yearning, Seokmin finds himself and Joshua swinging to the soft tune from his laptop speaker: Joshua's hand on his shoulder, his hand on Joshua's waist, eyes to eyes, lips almost touching.

They spin and spin and spin under the flickering light, and when Joshua starts to talk about how much he used to like this song, Seokmin knows his heart is spinning just the same, over and over in winter sunlight, drowning in all of this intimacy.

Now, in Seokmin's vision, Joshua seems like he's glowing. Bright eyes crinkling in happiness, lips slightly curved into a smile, slender neck, pretty hands. Perhaps, he thinks, that Joshua is the sun all along. A kind, gentle sun that gives off so much warmth, a sun that never burns. And yet, Seokmin is just a piece of a dying star that keeps dancing in his orbit for evermore.

Joshua tells him stories. Many stories. But Seokmin is fine with that. Because his words are so strange. They dissolve and blend into those melodies, like he's singing about the old days, about dreams and plans that got stained by time.

And Seokmin thinks, that perhaps in other lifetime, Joshua could be a singer that likes to play the guitar, and Seokmin could be his biggest fan, and they could be together for eternity.

But, in this room, with Joshua close to him, the end of everything doesn't seem that bad after all. If the end is Joshua, is dancing with him, is holding him close like this, is feeling their hearts beat the same rhythm, then Seokmin is more than happy to receive it.

Because what is there to lose, besides their mortal bodies?

**_D-1_ **

Joshua wants to write a letter.

For whom, and to whom, he doesn't even know. He just knows he wants to write, with paper and ink. But, here, above the clouds, among eternal darkness, how will he find those?

Yet, Joshua still manages to pull out a stack of paper, some pens that Seokmin has only seen in the antiques exhibition. Then, they sit down at the dining table.

And so Joshua writes first. He wants to write to his mom, his dad, to his friends, to his chubby little kitten, for everything that he has ever seen, ever met, ever loved.

Seokmin quietly stares at him and his fingers, watches as the words appeared evenly without any lines on the time-stained paper, memorizes his focused face: eyebrows scrunched together, teeth grinding on the poor pen, just like those cats that always have to gnaw on something.

And he thinks, that Joshua is _cute._

Cute in a unique way. Cute, but so gentle, so kind. Like the way he tells his mom to be healthy, the way he reminds his dad to take care of the sunflower pot in front of their house, the way he scold his friends for not messaging him, the way he asks if his kitten is still doing fine. Like the way he still happily tells Seokmin how his mom used to nag him when he was little, how his dad used to take him for a trip around the solar system. Like the way he still thinks of everything on Earth as alive, even though they have vanished into stardust a long, long time ago.

Cute, like a soft ray of winter sunshine.

And it makes Seokmin wants to cry a little, because after all, in the end, when Joshua drives this ship into the abyss, all of them, all of the pretty little things that Joshua shares with him, will all turn into nothingness too.

Joshua's done with his letter. He gently closes the pen's cap, then softly ask if he knows how to use this pen. And perhaps it's the way his voice switches into a softer, much kinder tone, that Seokmin finds his eyes brimming with tears, in this quiet understanding, in this strangely intimate atmosphere.

"I don't know."

"Then let me teach you."

Seokmin nods. And then, Joshua pulls his chair in closer, gently holds Seokmin's trembling hands in his own.

"Let's practice for a while first."

His hands are so soft, so warm, so patient. He fixes Seokmin's every fingertip just so he will hold the pen properly, just so he can write a little more evenly. And even though they're close enough already, yet Seokmin still wants to pull him in more, until there's not any space left between the two bodies. Perhaps, if Joshua's just a little bit nearer, then his heart won't be freezing anymore.

But Joshua suddenly steps back, and sighs.

"Maybe you need more time to get used to it. So let me write for you, okay?"

And Seokmin nods again, even though he still yearns for that warmth, that kindness, that care. Because who can deny his request?

All the personal names - of his dad, his mom, his puppy, his best friend; all the things that he thought he'd never say back on Earth; all of them just slipped out of his tongue. In the blink of an eye, they are already on the yellowed paper, in Joshua's neat handwriting. And Seokmin feels, at the back of his throat, there's a surge of confusing emotions too.

He keeps standing there, writing for people and things that have dissolved into the pitch black universe a long, long time before, remembering old stories that he heard from his childhood for Joshua. And never has he felt this vulnerable and naked, never, for he's telling his farewell letter to the world for Joshua to listen, to write down. He thinks, on that old sheet of paper, all of his muted aches are being revealed, so much longing for love is dancing right in front of Joshua's eyes. But he knows that Joshua, sweet, gentle Joshua, will understand.

His letter ends with a shaky _Lee Seokmin_ signature, three ink stains, and two tired hearts.

**_D-DAY_ **

Today is the day that this ship crashes into the black hole.

And yet, Seokmin finds himself lying on Joshua's bed, bodies close, counting down the last twelve hours left by listening to him telling stories about the pictures in his cell phone.

"This is my mother," he said, pointing to the smiling woman on the left side of the photo, then at the stern man beside him, "This is my father."

His fingertips shifted a little more, pointing to a teenage boy with pretty eyes crinkled in happiness, "This is me."

Seokmin smiles. "You were so adorable back then."

Joshua winces, cheeks puffing slightly, making Seokmin suddenly wants to pull him closer and put a kiss on his lips. "What about me now?"

"Still very cute."

He laughs, the beautiful sound ringing in Seokmin's eardrums, and he quietly wonders that, when everything blends in the eternal darkness, would he still giggle like that too?

Next to him is another young man, with black hair and two small fangs. Before Seokmin can open his mouth and ask anything, Joshua has hastily explained.

"My ex-boyfriend back in college. We broke up when I knew I was going to be on this ship."

_Ex-boyfriend._

_We._

The words dances right in front of Seokmin's eyes, joins together into one big chain, squeezing his heart. And Seokmin thinks, that life is so cruel, because even though he can hold Joshua's hand at the end of it all, he still will never be able to have a warm future with Joshua, to lie down and count stars together, to travel to some satellites of Jupiter, to wander the Moon as his lover.

Can't live with him.

"Do you still miss him?"

"Sometimes. I miss everyone. I miss Earth. A lot."

A beat of silence. Joshua purses his lips together. Seokmin looks at him, and sighs.

"I have never had a girlfriend. Or boyfriend."

"Haven't kissed anyone either."

"Really?"

Joshua asks, eyes wide, glittering under the dim yellow light.

"Yeah. Too much of a nerd."

"So do you want to kiss me?"

Seokmin turns his head, facing Joshua. Maybe ... Maybe this is just a joke. A joke crueller than the end of everything. But he knows that Joshua won't do that. He won't do that, because he's Joshua.

He looks at him again, at his stern face, at his slightly reddened cheeks, at his soft lips, and closes his eyes.

"Yes."

Leaning in just a little closer, he gently lifts Seokmin's chin, and places their lips together. Joshua tastes like strawberries and sunny melancholy, and Seokmin briefly wondered if this is how love supposed to go. Personal and intimate.

If only they had the time.

Seokmin sleeps, a very long, very deep sleep without any dream.

Joshua wakes him up with a gentle "It's here", like waking him up to breakfast and not eternal nothingness. He lets Joshua lead him, walking to the cockpit in lifeless steps.

The ship's control panels are filled with colorful buttons, but Joshua presses them with such confidence, as if they belonged to a washing machine or a remote control.

"This is the self-driving mode switch", he explains, quickly swiping it to the OFF mode. The ship immediately sinks sideways, forcing Seokmin to cling onto his sleeve hastily.

"It's here", Joshua murmurs in his gentle smile, as the ship's getting closer to the red dot on the LED screen.

"We'll be there with them soon", he whispers, and Seokmin suddenly wants to cry. Every light turns into a bloody red. 00:05, the four digits on the screen reads.

**00:05**

Seokmin mutters.

"I will miss you so much."

**00:04**

Joshua softly smiles.

"Thank you."

**00:03**

The ship shakes vigorously. Seokmin finds his own tears flowing down his cheeks, sees Joshua's hands trembling.

**00:02**

Seokmin holds Joshua's wrist a little too tight.

**00:01**

Joshua breathes out.

**00:00**

The world sinks in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> [vietnamese version](https://www.wattpad.com/story/256153401-seoksoo-t%E1%BA%ADn-c%C3%B9ng-c%E1%BB%A7a-v%C5%A9-tr%E1%BB%A5-n%C3%A0y)
> 
> i know most people don't ship seoksoo, but they really mean the whole world to me!
> 
> getting this out was scary to say the least. because this was the first seoksoo work of mine, and also the first time i participated in a shipping week. anyways, your comments and criticisms are always welcomed. thank you so much for reading ♡
> 
> watch me go feral on [twitter](https://twitter.com/aprilcotdream)


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